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Amber O'Malley is a character in both the Walkyverse (primarily Shortpacked!) and Dumbing of Age.


Amber O'Malley/Warner
Umm...can I help you?
First Appearance: Shortpacked! 19 January 2005
Affiliations: Shortpacked!
Spouse: Mike Warner
Children: Donna Mae Warner
Relatives: Blaine O'Malley (father), Stacy O'Malley (mother), Faz (half-brother), Zaph (half-brother), Rose (half-sister)

Amber is uneasy when dealing with people, so Cheese only knows why she runs the customer service desk. It probably has to do with how she feels more secure behind the counter, with a solid barrier between herself and real li-- er, customers. She has an Internet boyfriend. She isn't very good at eye contact. She is also secretly evil.

Like Ethan, she is an avid collector of toys, including My Little Pony, Strawberry Shortcake, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and Transformers: Kiss-Players. Her favorite comic book is Spider-Man Loves Mary Jane by Sean McKeever. She is always relieved to find at the end of each issue that, indeed, Spider-Man still loves Mary Jane.

Spoiler warning!
Plot and/or ending details follow.


During 2002, Amber was relocated by her mother away from her abusive father. She took up residence in an apartment across the hallway from Ethan, whereupon they met for the first time. Feeling abandoned, Amber took to Ethan as a kind of guardian, which was played out dramaticaly after her father turned up and attempted to take her away. This culminated in a night of confusing passion between Amber and Ethan, which Ethan later decided was a 'mistake'.

After Ethan realised that it was in Amber's best interests to become more self reliant, he broke up with her, but attempted to give her support by getting her a job at the Shortpacked! store, where he had recently become employed.

Upon the arrival of Robin DeSanto to the store they quickly became acquaintances, however this was mostly forced by Robin. This eventually led to Robin moving in with Amber, in an attempt to live an 'odd couple' existence. Even though she angrily objected to this, Robin called bullshit upon this. Amber eventually gave in after Robin touched upon a personal nerve, hinting that they both have an abusive father.

Amber once had an internet boyfriend, who she had been chatting with since ten years ago. It is likely that she prefers on-line communication - which is quiet, planned and rational - to real life interaction. This went well until her laptop broke down, revealing just how addicted she is to instant messaging due to her odd understanding of budgeting. This led to a confusing daydream in which the Prince rolls her and the store into a Katamari and towards Nathan in Iowa, revealing that she has yet to see him. Waking Amber up from this dream, Robin is able to initiate her into the small toy-hunting group that gives Robin and Ethan an excuse to be together.

That mustache makes you look like a pedophi-- Just get rid of it okay?

When Robin pulled the Drama Tag, this lead to a spike of drama flowing through the store, resulting in several events, notably the arrival of Amber's presumably abusive father. A tall, imposing man, her father was quickly ushered out by Ethan, despite his protestations. Ethan comforted her after this, starting a small rivalry between her and Robin over Ethan.

After Faz was hired at Shortpacked!, he set his sights upon making Amber his bride, much to her confusion. Not used to being the object of affection, she appealed to Robin for help. This led to her standing the Customer Service Desk in her underwear, with a strange new sense of confidence coming over her. Sadly, this did not stop Faz, merely encourage him. Even when she dressed in a very revealing corset with a well-managed hairstyle, Faz persisted. He proposed they be like Adam and Eve - naked that is, as well as being alone. This was still unwanted, as her new look gave her control over being alone, yet Faz wasn't leaving her be. Robin even suggested that Amber make out with a random customer in order to "prove" she was a lesbian. Yet Faz did not falter, citing that such an encounter only brought Amber's Kinsey Score anywhere between one and six. Eventually Amber agreed to go on a date with Faz - to CompUSA to buy her a new laptop. This reunited (on-line at least) her with Nathan after a long absence of disconnection.

This lead to it being revealed that Meredith, an old crush of Nathan, was staying with him at the time after Meredith got divorced. This lead Amber to become angry that he could do this - despite the fact that she didn't even know what he looked like. After a short time putting it off whilst New Super Mario Bros came out, she ended up getting flown to Iowa by Robin in order to resolve the situation. Here, she overcame her fear to meet him and ended up playing Smash Bros and trading Pokemon. When Meredith interrupted them, Amber pre-empted any tension by kissing him.

Amber helped Robin recover from the revelation that Ethan is gay, and was caught up in the rush of the Tome of the Ages that gave her, and many others hope for the future. She then, after hearing Faz's new "chapter", ran to Ethan demanding they "stop this". However, just as Ethan started getting his hopes up, she made it clear that it was only Faz's additions she'd rejected. He threw her out. At the store she totally parried Ninja Rick's sword with a pushy-popcorn-ball-popper-thingy. That's pretty hardcore.

Overall, it appears she's as cockamamie as Sal trying to see her own eyebrows.

And she wants to be Donatello's girlfriend, though she argues the point with Robin whilst dressed as Michelangelo.

Amber is also more crafty than she may appear at first, an event most prominently showcased when she discovered Mike's secret - that he drinks himself into a nice guy so that he can work at McAwesome's Parasailing and Chocolate Bakery. She blackmailed Mike into becoming her boyfriend, a relationship he hasn't backed out of.

She finds their craziness pretty damn hot.

After many years of dating and having lots of hate sex, Amber and Mike finally decided to get married. On the day Mike asked Amber to marry him, it was revealed that she was pregnant with their child, who was named Donna once she was born, after Donatello from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, which shows her obsession with the series. A few months later, after Mike was sent on a sandwich run and the crew of Shortpacked! set up the event, their official wedding was held. At the end of the night, Amber and Mike announced their plans for moving to Colorado and opening a new Shortpacked! location there.


  • Her dad is so awful Robin considers him an awfulness unit of measurement.[1]

Dumbing of Age[]

Amber O'Malley
Amber 2016.png
First Appearance: Dumbing of Age September 14, 2010
Roommate: Dina Saruyama
Likes: Superheroes, video games, slashfics, transformers
Relatives: Blaine O'Malley (father), Stacy O'Malley (mother), Faz (step-brother)
Major: Computer Science
Hometown: Indianapolis, IN

If Amber’s high school friends Ethan and Mike didn’t occasionally try to force her away from her MMORPGing, she probably wouldn’t ever leave her dorm room. That said, she’s surprisingly fit for someone who sits on the computer all day. Maybe she has a shake-weight or something.

Spoiler warning!
Plot and/or ending details follow.


Growing up Amber was generally shy, anxious, and withdrawn, likely in part due to the treatment her and her mother suffered at the hands of her abusive father. Amber was best friends, and later dated, Ethan Siegal but the pair broke up after prom night, when Ethan revealed he was gay.

Five years ago, she and Ethan were present at one of Sal's attempted convenience store robberies. The incident occurred during a stop on a field trip on which she was being escorted by her dad. Ethan was held hostage by young Sal. Once the hold-up was put down, Blaine berated Amber for doing nothing. Ethan tried to help, but it all got to her and she ran, crying, towards Sal, who was being leaned against a police cruiser. She grabbed Sal's knife and stabbed her in the hand. The whole thing deeply traumatized her, though her father refused to get her therapy.

She and Danny Wilcox initially bonded with Danny's interest in her and Amber's slight attraction to him, but this was quickly overshadowed by her alter ego Amazi-Girl. After seeing Danny as her superhero identity, they bonded over Mario Kart and Danny assisting the superheroine in her deeds.

Parent Weekend[]

As happy as her term was beginning to appear, this was short-lived when Blaine O'Malley and his illegitimate son Faz O'Lee arrived, unwelcoming and intimidating. When Blaine sneeringly referred to the abuse of his ex-wife, Amber responded with a punch that sent him off his feet. Her father's attempt at retaliation came to a halt when Ruth confronted him and security was quickly notified of his presence, resulting in his departure from the campus.

Blaine attempted to extort Amber into behaving according to his wishes by using Danny as leverage. When Amazi-Girl revealed Blaine's motive, he grabbed Danny in a motion that was all too similar Sal's hostage of Ethan. This ended in a severe beatdown that sent Blaine to the hospital.


A would-be rapist resurfaces on Amazi-Girl's radar after she tracks Sal Walkerton to DeSanto's rally. The duo enter a scuffle between the youth and his fellow interns manage to release a hazy photo of the man on the internet. He manages to track down Amber because he got into her phone, attempting to kill her and Dorothy with a knife. Unfortunately for him, she's not Amazi-Girl.

So far, she's trying to come to terms with unleashing her anger on a rapist, whose family is currently suing Amber's for slashing him up.

Also her mother is dating Joe's dad. So there's that.