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Conquest, AKA "Conni", is Galasso's naive, highly promiscuous daughter in Shortpacked! and Dumbing of Age.


First Appearance: Shortpacked! 26 June 2006
Affiliations: Shortpacked
Relatives: Pamela Galasso (mother), Galasso (father)

Conquest is Galasso's daughter and heir apparent, making her the unfortunate subject of his ongoing obsession with continuing the Galasso legacy at any cost.


Driven to desperation by his advancing age, Galasso became fixated on creating an heir to his toystore empire, throwing his daughter at anybody he believed would sire him an acceptable successor. This included Faz, Robin DeSanto, and even a wild horse, although surprisingly, he never tried going after Mike Warner.

Ethan Siegal agreed to sleep with Conquest in order to secure a promotion, but their relationship quickly went off the rails once Ethan realized he was gay. Ethan later attempted to "rehabilitate" her by bringing her onto the Shortpacked! team as seasonal help, though he quickly discovered that she had her own, rather different idea of "good customer service". (It did wonders for sales, though!) She later agreed to make out with Robin to help Robin convince Ethan she was a lesbian.

Inspired by Ethan's kindness and tired of being used by her father, Conquest struck out on her own following the "Tome of Ages" fiasco, quickly building up a substantial empire by buying up all independent toy stores on the south side of town. Galasso attempted to dissuade her from expanding into his territory by offering her a suitcase full of cash Jacob, but the deal fell through.

Conquest then attempted to recruit Amber O'Malley, offering her a position as manager of a new store designed to directly compete with Shortpacked! and a substantial increase in salary. Amber wound up turning her down, despite her better judgment.

After Ken propositioned her in a vain attempt to make Malaya jealous, Conquest happily relieved him of his virginity. She was apparently quite touched by his efforts to romance her, as she later told him that if she ever decided to spermjack a man with the ultimate intention of growing the Anti-Christ in a Matrix snowglobe, it'd definitely be him.


  • As has been noted in the comic, Conquest is most likely sterile, given the hundreds of unsuccessful attempts that have already been made to impregnate her.
  • It is implied she may have, at one point, copulated with a horse.
  • When she was younger, she was amused by a wig.

Dumbing of Age[]

Connie doa.png
First Appearance: Dumbing of Age 9 February 2011
Relatives: Pamela Galasso (mother), Galasso (father)

Conni works as a waitress at her father's pizza (and sub) shop near the IU campus.

During Joe Rosenthal's disastrous date with Joyce Brown, she showed up to take orders. After Joe made the mistake of looking at her breasts, Joyce and Mike Warner teamed up to pummel him into submission. Afterwards, Mike ordered a pizza from her.


  • Conni is 16 years old.
  • She finds the idea of "dominating" the clientele of Galasso's Pizza (and Subs) until they "beg for ultimate release" enticing.