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First Appearance: It's Walky! 25 October 2000
YOB: 1979?
Height: Approximately 6'2"
Weight: Unknown
Awesomeness: Off the charts

Hooper is the leader of SEMME Squadron 37 in It's Walky!, and a pretty awesome guy. He beats people up, says whatever the hell he wants whenever the hell he wants, and largely gets away with it.


Hooper showed up at SEMME at some point, presumably after Year Zero. One time The Cheese was ticked off at the Head Alien, so he alerted SEMME to the Aliens' location. This led to Hooper chasing Head Alien around the bunker, talking smack on the evil overlord and slicing up aliens with his chainsaw. This was pretty awesome. He would show up from time to time after that, usually talking in badly-manged internet-speak

r u ok? i cant quite decipher your speaking through the intertubes?

that was nigh-incomprehensible to anyone outside Squad 37. He occasionally offered his unique talents to assist in the rehabilitation of injured SEMME agents.

Later, on a mission in the Bermuda Triangle, he was killed by Monkey Master, but then he got better, because he was awesome. At some point between being killed by Monkey Master and then coming back entirely not-dead, he became some kind of zombie, perhaps fueled by awesomeness. After returning from the dead, he briefly mourned the loss of Zack, then acted like a zombie some more.

Later still, Hooper and his squadron were out looking for Anti-Head Alien when Hooper turned into a full-blown (although rather chatty) zombie. This may have had something to do with the Martians. He ate Hooks and Max, then decapitated (and possibly ate the rest of) Fitz, which clearly was incredibly awesome. Then Lith chopped his head off, took his chainsaw and his head (which could presumably be used to clone Hooper and the rest of Squad 37 from the greebly bits stuck between his teeth) and flew back to Denver, where she saved the day.



  • Hooper is based on a real-life acquaintance of David Willis, meaning he is unlikely to ever show up in Dumbing of Age. The actual Hooper is currently a sociology professor. According to Willis: "If you gotta fit him into the Dumbiverse in your headcanon, that’s where he’d be."
  • It was never precisely explained why Hooper became a zombie, although one implication is that the Martian technology in the Bermuda Triangle had something to do with it. Alternately, he was just too obnoxious awesome to die like an ordinary person.
  • His mangled English was unofficially called BANGALDESHESPEKE. If Hooper was still kicking around today, he'd probably be using Doge instead.
  • Hooper was a virgin when Monkey Master crushed him to death. His awesomeness may be the result of his unrelieved hormones.