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Jacob Williams is a character in Shortpacked! and Dumbing of Age.


Jacob Williams
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First Appearance: Shortpacked! 13 August 2009
Affiliations: Shortpacked!, Clinton & Associates

Jacob joined the Shortpacked! team following the store's substantial renovation in 2009.

Spoiler warning!
Plot and/or ending details follow.

A recovering addict, Jacob was forced to work retail after a downward spiral of sex, alcohol, and Marvel comics that ended with him flunking out of law school. While Jacob fought hard to keep his various vices under control, temptation was never far away, leaving his self-control increasingly strained. Making matters worse, Jacob quickly developed a crush on fellow Shortpacked employee Amber O'Malley.

After being propositioned by both Roz and Conquest in short succession, Jacob fled the store and proceeded to get stinking drunk. Taking advantage of the situation, Mike engineered events so Jacob ended up sleeping with Amber's mom, then secretly recorded the encounter to put together a marriage proposal he hoped would ultimately send Amber running off to Jacob. (Things didn't quite work out as he'd planned.)

Unfortunately, Mike's scheming ultimately caused Jacob to fall back into his various addictions with a vengeance. It was during this time that Jacob wound up finally giving into Roz's advances, though Roz quickly got tired of Jacob's conflicted emotions. Jacob continued to wallow for several days until Amber finally pulled him out of his slump with a help of a bit of tough love.

Since then, Jacob has stayed mostly clean, despite a few relapses and his on-again, off-again relationship with Roz. Most recently, he completed his law degree and quit his job at the store to start a new career in Chicago with Sarah Clinton's law firm, Clinton & Associates.


  • In addition to Amber, Jacob also seems to have a bit of a thing for Lucy.
  • A Marvel man, though he at least has respect for "the distinguished competition."
  • Believes Spider-Man has the best rogue's gallery in comics, a fact that doesn't endear him to Ethan
  • He's the only member of the Shortpacked! cast who actually sees a therapist. Go figure.
  • His last name wasn't revealed until he'd actually left the main cast. Ultra Car was somewhat baffled to learn that it wasn't some kind of bad pun.
  • According to David Willis, Jacob's sex addiction was a late addition to the character, inspired by David Duchovny. Any overlap with the Tiger Woods scandal was a case of unfortunate timing.

Dumbing of Age[]

Jacob Williams
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First Appearance: Shortpacked! 5 April 2013
Roommate: Ethan Siegal

Jacob is outgoing and friendly, and — again — super hot, and so it tends to disappoint some ladies when they find out how he’s really just here to learn stuff and he’s not making himself available for casual tangos. If you’re going to distract him from his studies, you’d better be the real deal.

Jacob is Ethan’s roommate (and secret lust object), Joe’s "new main man" , Raidah's boyfriend, and lust object of Sarah.[1][2][3]


  • Unlike his Walkyverse counterpart, DoA's Jacob is not a sex addict, but is closer to the original vision for the character: somebody who isn't against sex, but isn't interested in pursuing it at the moment. In this case, he's just waiting for the right person.